The first time it hit me was a few months ago: I was unemployed or “between two projects” as consultants say. I was jogging along the coastline. The days before I had been mood swinging every human being around me. Existential crisis. Something with sense, flow and lots of mismatched testosterone.
The sea told me there is a world outside there. That while I am spending time at work – doing “busi-ness” – the rest of the world is not grinding to a halt so you can catch up later. Those things I vowed not to miss out as my children grow older: teething, drawings, conflicts or plain and simple being there during moments of boredom (Quantity Time – maybe the most valuable of all moments).
The sky added some drama to the sea’s voice and I was treated to more impulses than I could bear: treasures from the sea in forms and shapes I had never seen; a resonating sound of the waves. The deep blue color of the water and the sky.
The beams of light whispered new things from between the clouds. I couldn’t read or make sense of what that sea and that sky were telling me that day. But one thing I know for sure: they have a message for me and if I balance my time and my attention wisely, I may learn the language that is required to live a life outside of business.
Yesterday it hit me again as I saw this young 4 year old running in the garden – bursting with joy and radiating an energy a that touches the heart. The sky then told me with the same deep blue voice that it was my son. Patiently the sky then seemed to wonder “where have you been all that time buddy?”.
I guess it will take a lifetime to figure out what exactly they are telling me. And I know one thing: in the life and the world outside of “busi-ness” I am as inarticulate and illiterate as a newborn. Nevertheless I am proud to have moved on the learning scale from ‘Unconscious incompetence’ to ‘conscious incompetence’.
Now the tension is created for me to learn. In this tension I find peace.
